Updated: Jul 3, 2020
It’s been a while! I’m honestly ashamed at how long it’s been since I’ve posted anything. Nonetheless, the blog has still been in my heart and on my mind. I created this blog as another extension to create and inspire. I wanted people to be able to get to know me a little more, as well as some other individuals doing great things. Everything was fine and dandy, and I felt like I was on to something; until I woke up and it just wasn’t fine anymore. I was not feeling inspired myself, so I was faced with the question; how do you inspire when YOU don’t feel inspired? I didn’t have an answer, so I stopped the blog. I stopped promoting my book, and I stopped being me. I had to take time and use some new and improved self-care methods, and try to receive some of my own advice that I’m always offering for free lol. I just wasn’t feeling like myself. It was the weirdest thing. I was feeling overwhelmed with my day to day life, and also the life I’m creating every day. I’m changing, and it’s been uncomfortable. Walking in this new light was becoming difficult with the old me fighting to stay content. I went to see Sarah Jakes at Woman Evolve last night, and it was the last thing that I needed to fully come out of my cocoon prison. God really made it so that she came to Atlanta at the perfect time for me, and I hope for someone else as well! Sarah Jakes definitely helped me seal the deal on getting my wings back yesterday (Woman Evolve insider lol).
I also got the chance to meet her which I was overwhelmingly excited about. She was all smiles, but I know she had to be tired lol. I even gifted her with a couple of my books! (I pray she gets a chance to read it. I think she would like my message, so if you're reading this please pray for me as well lol fr!) It’s so true that the universe aligns everything at the perfect time.
All I’ve been focusing on lately is expanding my mind. I have been going self-help book madddd lol! I’ve been working on completely letting go of fear/insecurities and any emotion that doesn’t truly serve me. I mean REALLY letting go of it this time too, and not just teaching myself how to pretend better. Faking it till you make it can only go so far. The way that I had been feeling was so foreign to me, and my normal “get happy quick” routines weren’t working. The negative thoughts were more severe than ever before. There is a place that I envision for myself, and none of those emotions are included. Before all of this, I prayed every night that every ounce of fear and insecurity left my spirit, and I believe that is why God took me on this journey. You don’t wake up and have your “perfect life”, you create it! If I knew that all along, why did I think that I would wake up and negative thoughts would just be gone? I had to face it! With new heights, comes new fears! I am so grateful for this journey, because what you don’t face in life will put your back to a wall. What you don’t control, will always control you. I know that to be at the level I see for myself, I have to let God be in control, and just believe that he will carry me where I need to be. I have to let God use me and not be worried about my pride. I can’t worry about who wants to see me lose, or even the way that I want to see myself win. I have to stay in tune with my spirituality, because I know that the way God plans for me to win is far more glorious than I could ever imagine.. What I have coming for me is bigger than me, and I deserve more than what I have received in the past. I can’t let anything stop me from this future that I cannot stop seeing in my head....not even me!! Baddie Bee is bin-ackkkk lmao!
Lord, I pray that you keep this momentum going in me! Let it over flow in me, and spill onto everyone that I come in contact with. Let me use the anointance that I have, to show someone else theirs. Bless me, so I can bless others. I am not trying to be perfect, and I am never going to be fake! Let me reach those who will understand my heart, so that I can maybe get them to understand theirs! Let there be no insecurity and no fear...nothing that will be a mountain between my destiny and I. Align me, and let me never stop trying! Amen<3
Thank you to my Lord and the universe in advance!